That was the very first thing written on this blog, way back in 2007. Holy crap that was a long time ago. It wasn't even written by me, it was written by Hossmom. She wanted me to start writing and so she created the blog, gave me the password and told me to go and get it done. 4 years later and 638 posts later, I think I have.
Now she wants me to write a book and I think it's about time. I find that my life is easier if I listen to my wife, less dishes thrown at my head that way. So over the next 6 months, I'll be writing some things or re-working some older stories. I'll submit them and we'll see what happens.
But where to start is the real question. I am told that I need a literary agent. So first off, if anyone can confirm this or knows a literary agent, that would be awesome. Second, I am told that I need to ship off a writing sample and I also need matarial for a book. It's in here, somewhere in 638 posts, are things that should show my writing style and humor. At least I hope there is.
So here is what we are going to do and everyone is going to help because going through 638 posts is a massive pain in the ass. In the comments section, please let me know what your favorite post was. Don't worry if you don't know the name of it, I'll go back and find it and post the link for everyone else to read as well. Thus, I have basically turned this into a clip show which is fine for now as I have only been cranking out 1 post a week for 3 weeks.
I'll get you started. Here are Hossman's Favorites, complete with a little author commentary. If you've missed some of these, perhaps this will give you some good reading while you are at work. Don't expect to much from 2008, I pretty much sucked that whole year.
Enjoy and tell me your favorite posts!
The Flat Tire: The one that started it all. This was actually an email letter that I sent out to about 20 people because I was so pissed off. I wrote it pantsless in my office after one of the worst working days of my life. It's the third post to actually go up but when Hossmom read it, that's when she asked me to blog.
The OB/GYN: I remember hitting the vaginal sonogram with my arm. I almost threw up a little bit when the goop got on me.
Trekkie Support Club: This always makes every favorite list that I do. I think it's because I find it very funny, a lot of people do not, but it's the first post that I thought was truly original and different.
My ManCard: My first post to actually get passed around on the net. I still think it's one of my better ones.
Our Little Secret: Written a month before it was actually posted. It was always meant to be deleted but after Hossmom read it, she laughed so I knew it was going to say up. As a blogger they always tell you to be honest. This is the most honest I've ever been.
At My Mother In Laws: You have no idea how much shit I got for posting this. But holy crap I thought it was funny and I still do. Seriously, I just read it and almost came to tears again. I'm sure that I'll get in trouble for it again, sooo..........
My apology: the apology blog I wrote for the original posting of At My Mother In Laws.
The Stay At Home Dad: I wrote this in my office 20 minutes after I quit my job to be a stay at home dad. It's pretty cool being able to go back to the exact moment that your life changed and still have it so fresh. I remember writing this thing and my hands were shaking. 3 years later and I"m still here and still loving what I do. I think this one will make the book.
The Price of Adult Conversation: Surely you must expect that my children would be all over a "best of" list. If you like stories of Little Hoss and her destruction, this one is for you.
Rocky II VS. Thomas the Train: A man and his son. My son is still a train freak but I'm thinking that he will eventually watch Rocky II with me one day.
Made for TV: The first day of filming for the reality show that never was. But the experience was still great and fun and it's something I don't want to forget.
Safety: I just read this and it still makes me laugh. Don't read it if you don't want that song stuck in your head. It's still one of my favorite though.
Jeff The Squirrel: If there is anything that I have written that describes Little Hoss and Bubba Hoss better, I don't know what it is. The day this happened I was so proud of my kids and impressed by their fearlessness.
Why do Cows Walk: When a little girl spends all day with her father, this is what you get.
The Defeat of Hossman: One of the more recent posts of mine but I still think it's some of my best writing. It's odd to me to back and read an early post and compare it to now.
The Manifesto against Peanut Butter: Another recent post but if you missed it, give it a read. I thought it was great. The story that is, not what actually happened. That was pretty terrible.
The Sparkle Screens: For the record, the glitter is still there.
The Complaint Form: I wrote this right after Hossmom and I got into a fight. She wasn't impressed the first time she read it but it made me feel better.
The Battle Royal: I'll admit, I have forgotten what this one is even about. But it's on my list so here it is.
The Little Boy and His trains: Out of 638 posts, this is my favorite. This is the best writing that I have ever done. I wrote the whole thing in less than 10 minutes. I can remember everything about this post. The words and the story just flowed.
I hope everyone enjoys reading and if you have a favorite, post it so I can go find it and decide what to add and what to subtract. And a special thanks to everyone who has encouraged me over the last 4 years to keep going!!