The Friday Five

5 Things That I could be Doing Right Now If I wasn't so Lazy.

5. Getting 300 balloons, tying them to a lawn chair and going for a ride. Just me, a case of beer and a BB gun. How deliciously white trash. I would grow a mullet while I was up there and go to Nascar events.

4. Asking someone besides my wife if they thought #5 was funny. Apparently that one just wasn't working for her and she is just shaking her head and has decided to stop paying attention to me and go back to watching Project Runway. Why am I even in the same room as this show? Why do I know Malvin Vien lost and is going home? Crap, I need to get out of here, it's sapping my funny.

3. Getting myself more brownies. They are right up there on the counter, mocking me. They are calling to me but I just can't find the motivation to make the effort. Maybe I can get Little Hoss to start throwing them at my face until one finds it's way into my piehole.

2. I would need some milk to.

1. Coming up with a better topic for a blog than what I got rolling tonight. Possibly something about poo because poo is always funny. Maybe talking poo, or would that be to weird. Probably but I still like it.


  1. I thought #5 was funny. I have an image of a guy with a mullet and a Pabst Blue Ribbon and a plastic gun, floating through the air, yelling things like "Yee Haw!" Made me laugh.

  2. And don't be so ashamed! Project Runway is a good show! My husband watches The Rachel Zoe Project. He probably doesn't want anyone to know that...oops.

  3. I would be drinkiing Lone Star Beer, that's redneck!