'I cannot go to school today, '
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
'I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash and purple bumps.
My mouth s wet, my throat is dry,
I'm going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I've counted sixteen chicken pox
And there's one more-that's seventeen,
And don't you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut-my eyes are blue-
It might be instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I'm sure that my left leg is broke-
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button's caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained,
My 'pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb.
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow's bent, my spine ain't straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is-what?
What's that? What's that you say?
You say today is...Saturday?
G'bye, I'm going out to play!

That's right kids, Hossman is out sick - we all hope he feels better soon, because Hossmom isn't as funny and is, frankly, the JV Parent on this team.

(For Niki)


  1. JV Parent my ass! You give your wife your password once and it comes back to haunt you. All of you take notice: A good marriage is built on secrets and a lack of communication.

    I was either abducted by aliens and some serious probing went on


    I ate some bad food and I have a problem writing between screams of "Dear God Let Me Die!"

    Thanks to Hossmom for getting a post up as we all know where I would be without her: living single and playing as many video games as I wanted. In only my socks and underwear. Eating a cold pizza. Wondering where this lump came from on the side of my neck. Ah, the dream.