One Year

Today is my Blogaversary. None of you bastards made me a cake. Not that I really expected you to but the thought would have been nice.

But that is not the point of today’s anniversary blog. Today’s blog is to actually thank all of you that have read me over the last year. It always does feel good to have people out there actually wanting to read the drivel that I sometimes come up with. It surprises me every day when I get on and I see that more people have read.

I hope that a lot of you have really enjoyed what I have written, even when I seem to get off the beaten path like my Ode to Trekkies. I still think that one is one of my favorite all time blogs but I completely realize that I may be the only one.

I also know that I have written some pure crap, seriously, Grade A primo camel dung. I can still read them today, a year later almost on some of them, and think about deleting them almost every time. And now that I am on that topic, I think that today’s blog might be utter crap as well. You expect a story, you expect a fallen hero to rise from the ashes and get the girl with the big hooters but instead I’m going to basically just talk about my blog for a little bit and answer some questions that people have asked me. I love talking about me, who doesn’t.

Why don’t you write everyday?
I have tried and some weeks I am inspired to do it. But this is basically a story blog where each post takes the reader through my mind at whatever event has popped into my head. I really do have to “feel” it to blog a good story and if you look back over the last year I think you can see where I actually forced myself to write. Jesus, that sounds so artsy I should go ahead and get a Mapplethorpe poster.

I Want my request!

Ok, here’s the deal. I can’t do requests. This has nothing against all the people that know me and have listened to my stories for years. It’s just that I start to force it when I do that. For example, there have been several requests for me to write about my rhythmic gymnastics routine. In college I had to take gymnastics and my final was a rhythmic routine, full on with a ribbon and I ended it with a very nicely executed tumble and wrist swish. I am 250 pounds. Get that images stuck in your head. But I can’t write it better than I tell it and when I try, it’s just crap and loses something.

Is this a Dad Blog, is this a Humor Blog, is this a gamer’s blog, is this a memoir?

All of the above. It’s kind of hard to say and throughout the year you can look at the blog you’ll see all of those things. I don’t stick to just Dad stuff but try to write whatever story is in my head. You have seen some from when I grew up in Arkansas on a farm—really just a couple of acres with cheap labor. I have ridden pigs, cut the heads off chickens and got my ass whipped in a homemade boxing ring. This is a far cry from me taking my kids to the home improvement store or teaching my daughter how to say touchdown. But the first blogs that I started reading and the ones that inspired me were the Stay at Home Dad blogs. It was a year ago when my wife and I thought about doing the SAHD thing and those guys gave me courage to actually do it. So yes, it’s a dad blog, a humor blog, a gamer’s blog and a memoir.

Why don’t you have anything in your profile?

I get this one a lot. I should probably put something up and I think that I just might. I know that I get a lot of new readers daily and they want to check out what kind of nut job is spewing the gospel. But at the same time, I like my stories speaking as to who I am. But if you have to know: I’m 33, have to kids and am a Texan, at least for another month anyway.

How did the blog start?

I get this one a lot too. Many years ago I would write funny stories for Hossmom. I was very shy about my writing and wanted only her to read them because it made her laugh. I have no doubt that the only reason my wife is with me is because I made her laugh so I kept it up. She would pass around this stories to her friends and family and that is how I slowly began to build up my confidence. So she suggested that I start this blog and then set it up. And as you all know, I do exactly what my wife tells me because I prefer to stay married. She laughs, she stays married to me, pretty simple. If you look at the very first post on this blog you will see that Hossmom is the one that actually wrote it. This marks the one and only time she has ever commented on this blog. She reads it several times a day and goes through all the old ones as well again, and again, but never comments. I have no idea why.

Am I really like that?
Some of the people that appear in my blog have been, well, a little less than enthusiastic at times. However, other people generally love how they are portrayed. I explain to everyone the same thing: you are a character, it’s not a shot at you personally. It’s just some of your personality triats magnified. Besides, if everyone was normal and great, I wouldn’t have any stories to tell. I also point out that I make fun of my fat feet and my receding hairline more than anyone I know.

Are your stories true.

Even my wife asked me this one. The simple answer: Yup. For example, my wife thought I was just making it up that I taught our daughter to say “beep beep!” while in the stroller. So I called my daughter in and told her say it. At the top of her lungs she screamed “BEEP BEEP!” I also told her that yes, I actually did paint small flames on our double stroller. She can also do every football sign, yell Victory during the movie 300, do Tarzan and a host of other things. Let’s face it, she’s half of my material.

So now it has been a year and I have seen this blog grow from something small to something a little less small. I’m still small time (for now!) but we’ll see what the future brings. I do hope that you all get some joy from reading this because I do enjoy writing them. One year later and 227 blogs posts. That freaks me out just a little. If you are new to the blog, might I suggest “The Trekkie Cult Support Group”, “The Flat Tire” or “Me Take Smarrt Test.” Those are some of my favorites.

And just to leave you on a happy note since this has turned out to be a pretty boring blog: We took Little Hoss to a crowded restaurant. Right before the meal was served, she let the juiciest fart I have ever heard from someone that small. Everyone with in 5 tables heard it. She then pointed at her butt and yelled “Daddy, Poot!” I about wet my pants.