I feel like I've written this one before. It's probably in there somewhere. But after 500 posts of gibberish you ain't gonna take the time to look. So you just write it again.
It has come to my attention that several of my readers and new friends think that my last name is actually Hossman. Sadly, this is not true.
"Why dear, that's Johnny Hossman."
"He's a lovely man."
"Yes he is dear."
"I hear he writes a little now a days."
"I like his bulge."
The point is, my name is not actually Hossman. It is a nickname that I acquired in college. In my younger days, as is the case with most young stupid men, I was full of bravado. I was full of fake macho and pseudo toughness.
Let me write that part again. I was tougher. Couldn't help it, just the way it was. The grass is green because it is green. The sky is blue because the sky is blue. And I was tough. Just the way it was. If that was it then I would be like the million of other stupid dumbass 19 year olds out there. But it went farther. I had a philosophy on life. You do the right thing because it's the right thing. And if you weren't sure, then you probably shouldn't do it anyway. As an older guy now, it's quite embarrassing looking back now.
But that's basically how I acquired the nickname. My real name is.............
It occurs to me that I have never mentioned my real name before on my blog. Everyone has nicknames. Hossmom, Little Hoss, Bubba Hoss and my self. We make up the Hoss family. I think that I did this because sometimes it's easier to write about the less spectacular things about yourself when no one really knows who you are. And what happens if I'm googled? Then I realize that I don't really care. I'm not embarrassed about the blog or the stories in it. It's my family.
And my family is tough.
I would like to introduce to you Erin (Hossmom), Vivi (Little Hoss), and Wyatt (Bubba Hoss). It's been a great three years writing about them and I hope to continue to do so for many more years. At least until Vivi breaks my computer, Erin finally gets fed up and divorces me and Wyatt just wanders away in his little boy way that he does.
I'm Shannon Carpenter and I'm your host. Pleased to meet you. Go ahead, make the jokes about the guy with the girls name. But just remember that once in Mexico I held onto a car battery at full charge until 8 other guys fell to the floor. Stupid yes, but tough.