5 Things That I Should Have Seen Coming But I Didn't.
5. The cat hissed at me. Then she left for a while. She took a shit on the closet floor.
4. We left chalk out on the driveway last night. I forgot that the pretweens wait for the bus in my driveway. The next morning as I took the garbage out I was greeted by a picture of a penis on driveway.
3. I asked Little Hoss what she was doing. She said nothing. Later, I found out that "nothing" meant that she was painting the hardwood floors.
2. I put the potato chips on the top of the pantry, within easy reaching distance of any toddler and a dining chair. We no longer have any chips.
1. "Daddy, can I bite you?" Bubba Hoss asked. "Absolutely not!" I said. He then asked for a hug. I now have teeth marks on my chest.