Brought to you by Hossmom

I got nothing, not a damn thing in my head that is worth writing about. Hossmom just offered to let me publish her creative brief that she just wrote. Now she says that I am typing way to loud with my grizzly sized paws tearing away at her tiny little laptop. Then she asks if the sound of my typing is keeping up with my poofy hair. Honestly, I have no idea where that came from.

Welcome to Hossman's pillow talk at 11 at night. The best of random bits of random conversations.

She now asks me if a teenager takes a naked picture of themselves and puts it on thier phone, is that child porn. Would it qualify as producing and possessing kiddie porn. I have no idea how we got from my poofy uncut hair to kiddie porn. She says that thier no intent, therefore its not kiddie porn. I ask "what if they send it to someone else." She says then it is kiddie porn. I ask if it's sent to the boyfriend who is also 16. She also says kiddie porn. I realize that my wife may be harder on my daughter dating that I will.

Hossmom is about to fall asleep on me in mid conversation. Now she asks what I'm writing since I told her I didn't have anything to write about. I tell her "I got an idea now" which is basically writing verbatim what she is talking to me about. I'm naked by the way. Just incase you are wondering. I call it bear porn.

Now she moans, but not the way that I know means she is receptive to an offer.

We are moving along in conversation about a boxer dying in Dallas. I point out it's a random comment. My wife is very, very entertaining. That's why I love her. Maybe in a sec she will fall asleep and she will talk in her sleep. That should be a good blog.

Now we are planning our TV schedule for the next week. My wife's a planner as well. She points out that next week is the season final of LOST.

Moving on, talking about some poor awkward guy she met at the conference she was at today. I point out that I'm an awkward guy as well. But I'm not worried because I write the funny. She says that what made it weird is that he offered a lot of personal information. Like how his wife is much younger than he is. She doesn't know why that would come in. Then he gives random stories and talking about how he used to make big bucks. She is trying extradite herself from the conversation but can't. She couldn't leave because she was eating her lunch.

And that's it ladies and gentlemen, she's out. This blog was brought to you by Hossmom who, without her knowledge, supplied all the material written and thereby maintains all copyright claims to it.

Another moan. She moans alot when she's tired.

The new Jen Lancaster book came out. She is a chick auther and I have no idea who she is. Bitter is the new Black. I remember seeing the book on the nightstand but haven't read it yet. She says that she is hysterical.


  1. Boy are you in trouble.

  2. LOL, your poor wife! It sounds like she watched a recent episode of Law and Order SVU with the kiddie porn...
    Oh and Jen Lancaster, finally had to pick up a copy of Bitter, since I read her blog. She is very entertaining and she got her book deal by first writing blogs.....

  3. Could've been watching Oprah's "How to talk to your kids about sex" series, too. Just remind your kids (when you give them their cell phones - the begging should start 4 days after they start public school) that you used to be in HR so you know for a fact that creepy old men will google them and see those sexted pictures when they try to get a job.

  4. I just read this blog after a year and holy crap this makes me laugh. I am thinking about sending it again to Hossmom but that might again get me in trouble. Still, I love this blog entry.