How many 5 year olds Could you Take in a Fight

In two weeks I am going to be a full time stay at home dad. As such, I need to train to handle the riggers of the position. But before you start training for a position you need to get a baseline assessment of where you are starting off at.

With this in mind, I took a quiz called:

How Many 5 Year Olds Could You Take In a Fight.

I figure that given that my daughter is gourgous, this might come up and I need to be prepared. Good Lord I love on line quizes

Let’s see. First we start with body type questions and arm reach. There is no selection for “Badass Vengence Giver”. Obviously this quiz is culturally biased.

“How high can I kick”. That’s a tough question as I have never measured myself and in general I try not to kick high because it leaves the sack and potatoes exposed, not a good fighting strategy. So lets just put “Not Very High.” Alright then, let’s keep moving.

The next question is “How many fights have you been in.” Here we go, now we are getting to the nuts and bolts of it. I am counting the fights I got into with my brother. And I’m counting the fights I got into with my brother at my side. And I’m counting all the fights I got into because of my brother. It’s about here that I realize that my brother might have been a bad influence on me growing up. Let’s say more than 8.

“Do you have any experience fighting swarms”. Well hell yes, I fight the alien swarms on Xbox all the live long day, Poncho.

“Have you ever been trampled.” Only by the ladies.

“Would you fight dirty.” Hell yes. Those that say they wouldn’t fight dirty don’t know how to survive. You gotta be willing to throw some dirt and kick in the junk if you want to make it out of the bush.

“Would you feel morally comfortable picking up another child and using him as a shield.” Tough question. Although since I already admitted to fighting dirty, I suppose this would count. Sorry kid, tough luck.

“How do you feel about fighting a bunch of kids”. For that, it really depends. Are they like Zombie possessed kids, are they the undead? Are they the Children of the Corn type kids? Because then I would have no problems what so ever. Those little bastards are killers.

“Click for your answer.”

“You could take 23 five year olds on in a fight.”

I’m calling bullshit. I could whip at least 30 or so with my kung fu style. Do I get a sidekick? Everyone gets a sidekick. If I had Little Hoss with me, you could double that number.

1 comment:

  1. I can't believe no one has commented on this one yet. I thought this one was funny as hell. Granted, a little off the wall, but funny!