Up and Down

Up and Down.......

Up and Down..........

Back and forth..........

Back and forth..........

Smack, it hits him in the face.

It's hypnotic to watch. I can't take my eyes off it. Up and down. Up and down. Back and forth. Back and forth. Smack. In the face again.

Am I getting drowsy? A little but I don't know if that has to do with watching my son being pissed off or the beer that I am now consuming. Either way, it's mesmerizing watching him throw the little pool innertube in the air.

It was a buck at Walmart and I got it last year. Against all odds it has survived the destruction of my children and is still inflated almost a year later. It has a picture of Mickey Mouse on it. And now it's flying through the air. Up almost 4 or 5 feet at which point it then becomes caught in the wind. The wind denies it any further flight and sends it back to it's thrower, my 2 year old son.

About every 3rd or 4th throw it hits him in the face.

And I cannot stop watching it. Up and down. Up and down. Back and forth. Smack

He's pissed. He's really pissed. He usually doesn't get this mad. Usually he's a great kid, one of the easiest kids ever. Loves to hang out, loves to play. There are only a few things that you have to watch out for. First, don't let him give you a hug while he's face to face with you. He is going to headbutt you in the nose. I'm just saying, risk it if you want. The kid doesn't give easy hugs. He goes full in. If you get a bloody nose (I have), it's your own damn fault. Second, never touch his cars or his trains. Those are sacred. Those are priceless. You touch them, you lose a finger. 3. His sister has a knack for pissing him off like no one else. Which is pretty normal. Family always pisses family off easier than the rest of the world.

This time, this tantrum, this one is caused by his sister, big surprise. The start of it anyway, now it's in a world of it's own.

She wanted my son to wear the little inflatable donut. He didn't want to wear it. He wanted to play with his cars on the driveway. She was insistent. Very insistent. You ever see those cheesy Scoobee Doo episodes where the villain is caught with a life preserver? That kind of insistent. Once he got it off of himself he felt the need to express his anger at the Mickey Mouse donut floaty. So he threw it into the air.

But the wind caught it and sent it back to him. That pissed him off even more. So he picked it up again. That really pissed him off. So he threw it again, same result only this time it hit him in the eyeball. Gotta squint kid, that's your daily dad advice.

Now I'm not sure if he's pissed off at his sister anymore or he is really just hacked at the floaty. He wants it away from himself and cannot seem to accomplish this.

Where am I? I'm in the lawn chair watching all of this. This is better than General Hospital. Come over and hang out, you'll know what I'm talking about. I should give him some advice but I can't seem to get out of my chair (up and down). I can't seem to raise up at all (up and down). In fact, I don't think I can actually move. (Back and Forth, smack).

Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in. (name that movie)

If I was going to give him some dad advice, assuming that I get out of this trance, I would tell him to use two hands to throw. But that would mean he would have to put down his cars. Next I would tell him to not grunt so much. To the little guys credit he's giving it his all but when you have a big grunt and a small throw it's just embarrassing. Finally, I would tell him to stop dicking around with it. Stop throwing it in the wind and place it in the driveway. Start the lawn mower and run over it. I get the anger son and as long as your mother's not here, we can let you push the mower for a little while. Hossmom is a little bit of a wet blanket at times.

I want to say these things but I don't, because I can't move my eyes away from the floaty floating in the wind and them smashing my son's face. Up and down......Up and down........smack.

He's been doing this for a good 3 or 4 minutes straight.

It could have been longer but or shorter because I think that I am now starting to lose track of time.

Up and down......

Up and down.....

Back and forth.........

Back and forth.......

Smack.