9/28/09

Rocky II Vs. Thomas The Train

Son, this is Rocky II. They made a lot of these but this one is still pretty good. In Rocky I , our boy Rocky lasted 15 rounds with Apollo Creed, a bad mamba jamba. You see, Rocky was just a bum, a no name that had no chance. But he had Mickey and he had heart and with that you can go a pretty long damn way. All you need is the love of a good women and a good corner man and you'll get your shot at the tittle.

"Train! I want cho-cho train!"

No, you're not listening to me here. That's Rocky, that guy with the thick speech. He's a good man and he loves his woman. He's not good at much but the one thing he can do well is fight. He has to be good at it because everyday of his life is a fight. Living in the South Side is hard son, it's real hard. And you've got to fight to make something of yourself.

"Cho-cho train! I. Want. Cho-cho train!"

Look kid, you may think that you want to watch Thomas the Train but I'm telling you, you really want to watch Rocky II with your dad. I know Thomas will teach you about being patient and doing a good job and those are all valuable lessons. And Thomas will tell you that doing a good job is reward enough. But Rocky will teach you how to claw your way out of the hole we call life. He'll teach you how to take a punch, how to come out fighting, how to keep going when you just can't anymore. He'll teach you to get up you Son of a bitch because Mickey loves ya.

"Cho-cho TRAIN! Cho-cho train! AAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHH."

See son, Rocky doesn't throw things at his dad when he' snot happy. What he does is he goes into a meat locker and starts pounding on a side of Angus. He tenderizes that bastard because that's the only way he knows he's going to conquer his demons. You see son, the real fight is the one you have to fight with yourself. That's where you discover if you're a man or not. That's where you find out if you have the Eye of the Tiger.

"I want my cho-cho! I want my turn! It my turn now!"

Get up off the floor son. Rocky never stays down and neither should you. He gets up and keeps going because that's the only thing that gives you self respect. It's about taking the best that your opponent has to offer and then getting back up again. It's about telling him that he ain't so bad. Get up son, I ain't heard no bell.

"No! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!"

Is Thomas going to teach you how to deal with your big sister? No, he's not. He's going to tell you to take the Black Hills route to deliver the eggs to Mr. Wilson's farm. That's what he's going to tell you, about delivering some eggs and flour and then if you put them all together maybe Thomas can tell you how to make a cake. Let's be honest here, your big sister pounds on you like you owe her lunch money. You know who she reminds me of? Drago. That's Rocky IV son. You see Drago was this big old Russian that could punch harder than anyone around. He killed Apollo Creed and so Rocky had to man up and take him on. He did it for his country son, he did it for the memory of a fallen friend. He did it for himself. We learned how to deal with loss son, and that's a pretty important lesson. The next time Little Hoss takes away your elephant, what are you going to do.

"Elephant?"

Yes son, your elephant. You need to watch Rocky with your dad so you'll know what to do when she takes away your elephant. What do you say, how about some Rocky with your dad. I can't take no more Thomas.

...............

"No"

I'll give you candy.

"No"

I'll let you punch your sister.

"No"

I'll make sure Thomas is at your next birthday party.

"No"

I'll bring Apollo Creed back from the dead in a little movie I like to call Predator.

"No"

You drive a hard bargain kid. Here, enjoy your Thomas. But remember, when you're ready for a montage of how to get into shape in the Russian wilderness, you'll know where to find me.

2 comments:

  1. I love this post! I freak out every time the Rocky movies are on TV. I've seen the first four movies hundreds of times (maybe not hundreds, but I could). I've never seen the last two because I refuse to ruin a good thing. Stay strong and fight the good fight. Someday, he will learn to appreciate The Italian Stallion.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Funny! You might as well realize now that they always win.

    ReplyDelete