Hoss Weekend 2011

It's always difficult to write about Hoss Weekend. Do I tell you about the fat man in the Oompa Loompa suit? Perhaps. Do I go into detail of how we came up with this year's theme: Pencil Thin Mustache? I could. Do I describe the absolute horror of flying in the middle seat of the plane I was on for 3 hours while smelling of beer and sweat? No, because I do not want to get sued by the poor woman who surely in still in convulsions from sitting next to me.

It dawns on me that there is perhaps nothing I can write about Hoss Weekend and the Pencil Thin Mustache that would do any of it justice. After all, are you really here to read about it or did you come to the blog once again this year to witness the pictures from Walmart? I'm betting on the pictures. Because once you see them I'm guessing that you can decide for yourself what our reception was as we walked through that store. How we haven't ended up on the "People of Walmart" site I have no idea. Especially since our first purchase was a plunger for the toilet that was broken within the first hour of our arrival.

11 guys. 1 plunger. Is anyone really surprised? Besides the poor woman behind us in the checkout line. She was apparently surprised enough to actually leave our line and go waaaay on the other side of the store like we had herpes. But in her defense, if I didn't know we were joking, herpes would have been a good assumption.

The Theme, as I have said, was the Pencil Thin Mustache. You can see the results below and how different guys interpreted it. Some went with the guido look, sporting a suit and plenty of chest hair. Others went for the computer nerd trolling-for-hotties-at-the-Nerd-Herd look. One also went for the creepy airline pilot for the Playboy Mansion, complete with awesome comb over. Me, I went for the 1970's porn producer. After my wife peed herself from seeing these pics she informed me that orange is not my color. Not my color at all.

Next year's theme is in our heads and there is some debate about it. But we've got some time to think about it. Until then, enjoy the eye candy you are about to see. And if you have children, I would not let them no where near these guys.

Please feel free to leave you own comments.

This is our "Blue Steel" sexy look. Feel free to throw you panties at us.

Here, we are "concerned." Apparently about the sex offender registration program.

And with all this sexy oozing from us. We also decided we needed one to send to Playgirl.

Guess what?! NAMBLA is coming to a town near you!!!

Please feel free to vomit. But if you do, just remember that you have to at least try to make it to the toilet first.

Thanks fellas to another great Man Weekend. See you next year!

1 comment:

  1. thank the gods that you didn't choose to attend UT - Hossmom is spot on. Orange is so not your color. And, unless you want to be banned from every childrens park in 3 states, I strongly urge you to burn the shirt!