There is a banana sitting on the small table we have in the entry, or for you fancy people, the foyer.
I have no idea where the hell this banana came from, but it's just sitting there. It's all by it's self, just right in the middle of the table. I thought we were out of bananas.
It would appear that we have one more, perfectly parallel to the table edge. It's not peeled. In fact, it looks to about to be perfect. A perfect banana sitting in my entry way.
I feel like it is taunting me. Like it was put there as a warning. I know that the mafia sends a dead fish to you when they whack one of your family, so what does a delicious, potassium providing banana mean?
Today is Earth Day. Smart money says it's from Greenpeace or something like that because I don't drive a hybrid. I drive an evil SUV and I know that they hate me for it. Look guys, like I've said before, it's paid off. I don't have the money to buy me a cutesy little deathbox right now but as soon as I get the funds, you bet, one little green go cart with 2 horsepower will go right in my garage, I promise. Knock of the bananas. I get it, ok? You are going to pull the old banana in the tail pipe trick that Eddie Murphy trick in Beverly Hills cop. Message received.
Unless it wasn't them, which is a possibility. What about radioactive super monkeys. Don't kid yourself, they exist. The government starting experimenting with them in the 1950's. Trust me, I USED TO WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT. It's common knowledge for all previous government employees. Right when we were really gearing up for the space race, they started the super monkey thing. It was a close call between the monkeys and the super intelligent raccoons but they went with the monkeys because Haliburtan was in on it.
No, the monkey's are busy right now dealing with Sarah Palin, so I think they are out.
But not the Vegans. This is exactly the type of crazy shit they would do, break into someone's house and leave a banana. A PERFECT banana. I mean look at this thing. It's a nice yellow color, no bruising. A lot of love went into growing this banana, picking it, shipping it and planting it. That just screams nature loving hippie vegans. I eat a lot of steak. I eat a lot of chicken. I eat a lot of anything that walks about on a farm. Lamb, pig, some sheep, a turtle once which wasn't half bad. I have a hippie friend who is a vegetarian. He assured me that he was ok with my meat love but now I think he was lying. Never ever trust a banana loving hippie.
Seriously, how did this banana get on the table in the foyer?
The most logical explanation is that Little Hoss is hording food again like a little squirrel and forgot where she put it. But where is the fun in that.
My money is on the man with one arm.