“Yes Honey.”



“Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.”


“I Piss.”

“Um, what sweetheart?”

“I Piss.” Little Hoss points at her crotch.

“You mean Pants? Something’s wrong with your pants?” I say. Please god let it be the pants.

“No! Daddy, I piss.”

“Pantaloons? Like Pirates wear? You want to wear pirate pants?”

“No! Daddy, I Piss! Piss! Piss! Piss! Piss!” Now she has begun jabbing herself in the crotch.

I read somewhere that your child is a reflection of you. They pick up everything that you do and repeat it. I should have really paid more attention when I read that because there is only one person in this house that uses that word and I don’t think Hossmom will believe it when I tell her she learned it from her.

Hossmom is out right now, time for some damage control.

“No Honey. We don’t use that word anymore. It’s a naughty word. You say Potty.”


“Potty honey. Or how about number one?”

“Number one piss.”


“Ok, how about Pee-Pee?”

“Piss, Piss, Piss!”

“Little Hoss! No piss! Say Bathroom or Potty or Piddle. No Piss!”

“Yes Piss.”

“No Piss!”

“Yes Piss!”








“Puppy piss?”

I’m so screwed when Hossmom gets home.

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