The Friday Five

5 things that YOU Should Do Today.

5. Slap a hooker on the ass, see what happens. Life is all about the adventure and sometimes that adventure means running away from a pimp. It'll be a good story to tell when your drunk.

4. Go watch an episode of Yo Gabba Gabba and then come tell me if that's not the wierdest shit you have ever in your life seen. I swear to god that black guy who is the host looks like he's on a heroin high the whole show, all he's missing is the rave. Without a doubt, this show creeps me out.

3. Eat some watermelon. It's summer man, live a little.

2. Don't talk any more policitcs, just for today. Anne Coulter, Rush, Jeannine Garafalo, Nancy--you know they are all full of shit. You know it for gods sake, why do you bother to argue who's more full of shit. They all are and you are completely 100% aware of it. Say it with me: Every politician, pundit, hardcore douche is full of shit, regardless of what they believe in. And either which way, whoever is in charge, you are about to get fucked. So let's just give out hugs not drugs, just for today.

1. Compliment someone's shoes. Who doesn't want to know that they are wearing nice shoes? Well, I don't, not really. But it would really make my wife's day if someone said that they liked her shoes.


  1. Well I've done the shoe compliment. Does it count if it was to myself? I can check off the eating watermelon,..I am from Texas after all. That's our midmorning snack. But as far as the hooker,..I think I'll have to pass on that one!

  2. I really needed this laugh today!! You are hilarious. Thank you, thank you, thank you! And I also am terrified of Yo Gabba Gabba. If that show made it to production, how bad were the shows that were turned down?

  3. You both have on very nice shoes.

  4. Again, thanks for the laugh! I do have a bowl full of pennies...