I have asked my family about what I should write about tonight. I thought maybe that I could get some ideas, maybe do a little brainstorming. I didn't have anything in particular in my head. Today was actually a good day in which no one got hurt, nothing was wrecked and I took a nap. I get my inspiration from my family but I am deciding that I am most inspired when I don't ask for their advice.

Little Hoss says that I should write about a sentence. I ask her why I should write about a sentence, what about that topic could I use to make it funny? Is there a particular angle I could take in writing about a sentence? Is there somehow a little sentence moral to be learned, a protagonist sentence that grows through out the plot? Is there a conclusion to the sentence or does it just run on forever like the movie Thor? Seriously, that movie sucked. I am very disappointed. She decided then that I shouldn't write about a sentence after all. She said that I should write about "Dada" and if I didn't write about that then I should write something "pissy" which brings up an interesting phrase that she heard me say to my wife. I believe that the exact phrase that I used, when talking to Hossmom this afternoon, was "Don't be pissy" and it appears that my daughter agrees with me.

I asked my son what I should write about. His response was to hit the wall with a sword. Then he looked at me and told me he hit the wall with the sword. Then he started to laugh because hitting walls with swords is funny, it's comedy gold, it Bob Hope Hilarious. I then got down on my knees and looked him in the eye as this is the only way that I can get the boy to really pay attention to me other than holding a pop tart in front of his face. When I was about to ask him again what I should write about, to ask him to inspire me, he just hit me over the head with his sword and said "bong". Then he ran away. I don't know if I can make that into a story, not unless he ran away to save some damsel in distress, say our cat for example, who has been tied up and left on railroad tracks by our villain, in this case played by our big gay dog. He's German so he always does the villain roles. But I don't know what happened to our hero because Hossmom then made me go outside and clean up dog poop.

She decided this should be a family activity which again shows my insanely practical wife not understanding what "family fun" is really about. Me: Plan a trip to Disney World. Her: organize the freezer according to color of frozen food. While we were outside she was none to happy with our overall effort as a family at cleaning up dog poop. In fact, she became a little "pissy" and I let her know it as I had just assumed that none of the children were actually paying attention to what I was saying. They usually don't which is why I have to dangle pop tarts in front of their faces.

I did ask my very practical wife what I should write about today. She suggested that I write about my underpants. She says that I should write about how I have pirate underpants and that they would go good with my son's sword. Perhaps I can play the villain this time with my pirate underwear. She also says that I have "party" underwear and some with strips on them as well. I don't really know what kind of underwear I have because my wife buys it for me. I haven't bought my own underwear in 15 years. Such an easy thing to compromise on. She likes me to wear funny underwear which I can only assume means that it takes the focus off my funny penis. This is how our marriage has stayed so fresh through the years.

This has been one of those weekends where things were smooth, fun for the most part and relaxing. I even got to watch some football and do a bit of uninterrupted writing, writing about nothing. I would continue but right now I've got to let the cat out of the closet, which my son informs me is his pirate dungeon and I should probably have a talk with my daughter that she shouldn't ever tell her teacher that she's being "pissy." For these tasks, only my spongebob underpants will do the job.

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