The Eye Test

The optometrist asks me to read the bottom line. I'll admit, it's a bit fuzzy and I may in fact need glasses. It's almost like being drunk without drinking, which sucks massive balls. What fun is that? I may need glasses but I'm going to give it the old college try and pretend that I'm still young and vibrant and young and vibrant people don't need glasses. I may have to start listening to Beiber. However, I may need glasses.

I'm pretty sure the bottom line starts with a L, then a V or perhaps a Y, I'm not sure. Of course the next one is an O or possibly a C. If you ask me, this may be a trick test. However, the last one I know for sure. The last one is a lizard.

That one I can defiantly see, it's defiantly a lizard. And it's moving too. This is a very challenging eye test and I'm sure that it's a conspiracy to make me old. I do feel that I am doing quite well though. I may have missed the Y or V conundrum, but that's a lizard. I can feel it in my bones, a lizard flying through the air. To prove how good my eyesight is I can also tell you that it's a green lizard and his name is Mr. Bangle.

The optometrist takes a step back and looks at me like I'm having a stroke. I just point to my kids, who have decided that the best place to play with Mr. Bangle is in front of the eye chart. They make life very entertaining.

You never get a break from parenting, ever, ever, ever. And that means that sometimes you have to take your kids to your eye appointments. You just make the best of the situation although in this case I feel that they have improved upon the situation as I wasn't doing so well Mr. Bangle came into the picture.

This isn't the first time something like this has happened. I've had to do things like this quite often as my kids are to young to be given jello shots dropped off at the local rave. When we sold our last house, I negotiated the price and signed the contract while drawing a princess. ON a side note, contracts signed in pink crayon are not valid.

Because of the annoyed look from the doctor, I ask my kids to please sit quietly which is like asking a 5 ton whale to do magic. Sounds great in theory but the laws of the universe do not allow it. They do try as I have asked as the doctor asks me to again read the next line up.

This one I can see more clearly. There is a V, an O, a possible F, an S (hopefully), and Buzz Lightyear that is going to infinity and beyond. He has to go rescue Mr. Bangle.