The Friday Five

5 Things that Bubba Hoss has walked into this week because he never, ever pays attention to where he is going. He gets distracted by bright lights and lint.

5. A pole. A pole that was in the middle of the sidewalk. A pole that was in the middle of the sidewalk and has always been there. He ran right into it, fell down and looked shocked that someone would dare put a poll where he was walking. This time he was distracted by the sound of a train somewhere in the distance.

4. A grocery cart being pushed by an elderly lady. Walked right into the thing. Turned around at the last moment and smashed his face right into it. Fell down and kind of just sat there for a moment. The sweet old lady felt so bad and began to apologize. For a moment I thought that she was going to give us some butterscotch candy. Bubba Hoss was distracted by a balloon in the shape of a lobster.

3. The kitchen counter. He didn't so much as walk into this as he ran into it, full on. He ended up whacking his head on the counter. To the untrained eye, you would think he did this on purpose as he appeared to be looking right at it. But to the qualified parent of destructive children, I know better. He was actually focused on Little Hoss who was across the room. He was running at her to tackle her. He corked himself pretty good too, thought for a moment he actually might have knocked himself out.

2. The monkey enclosure at the zoo. You would think all of his attention would have been on the lemur monkeys behind the glass. They are cool and they throw poop, everything that you would need to keep the attention of a two year old boy. But apparently the sight of his sister pushing the stroller was way more interested. Smacked the back of his head like a melon. I need to get him checked for a concussion.

1. Platform nine and three quarters. A muggle had to find it sooner or later.

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