Past, Present, and Future

"Turn right here!" Hossmom screamed.  Wine glasses cracked in the distance.

"Get your finger out of my face!" I replied.

"Turn, turn, turn!"

"I can't turn because it's illegal, there's a hill, and your finger is my face!"

And here it was, Hossmom and I in the cliche of all fights for married people.  It's an old joke that you see on sitcoms.  The husband is driving, the wife is giving directions, the husband doesn't want to listen, the wife doesn't believe that she can be wrong.  This was on the Honeymooners once.

After 11 years married, together for 17 (I um, was slow to propose.), we find ourselves in downtown traffic on our way to have a fabulous time.  Then we got in the car.  Most of the ride was spent in greatness.  It was sweet as it is most of the time.  She was looking absolutely fabulous.  Pretty, sophisticated and funny as hell.  I actually had on a tie.  How often do I wear a tie?  I haven't worked for 4 years now, it's shocking how my entire wardrobe consists of jeans, shorts and a plethora of t-shirts.  But I did look good.

I did freak out my daughter a bit, who has only seen me in a tie once in her life.  When I came down she stopped in her tracks.  She wouldn't let me move until she got her brother so that they could both look at me in my white shirt and tie.  It's like I was a unicorn.

We were not really sure where to turn.  In the age of GPS you would think that this wouldn't be an issue.  However, this particular weekend was also the "Rockfest" event hosted by our local radio show.  Bunch of rock bands and slacker teens that need jobs and haircuts flooded the streets with little regard to green lights and jay walking statutes.  With their skulled t-shirts and aura of pot smoke around them, they made this trip 10 times more difficult that it should have been.  We of course were not going to the rock concert, we were doing more adult things and I openly judged them.  I was also slightly amused at the sight of us getting out of our car and with our high heels and ties, mingling with the wayward youth.

I then reminded myself that I was once one of them too.  I wore black and combat boots.  Grunge was and is still very cool in my book.  I wanted to open my window and scream "This is where you are headed!" while pointing to my tie and throwing my mortgage paperwork at them.  Then I will tell them how expensive it is to feed 5 people a month and that leftover pizza does not count as a nutritious meal unless it's given to you by a school district.  I am a look into their future which made me want to get out of my car even more.

What is shocking about this little escapade fight of ours is how quickly it escalated.  Rarely do we go this way and the little sniping remarks are not part of our marriage.  But we went from making fun of the dopey teens to screaming at each other in the time that it takes you to read this sentence.  It really was that quick.  Shocking really.

I didn't know where I was going.  The crowds chocked off side streets, we had missed our turn and it was imperative to my wife that we turn around, right now, because if we didn't we were going to be late to the wedding.

That's right, we were on our way to a wedding.  Somehow this seemed even more appropriate to me.  Traveling to a wedding while having the cliche of all married fights.  The kids on the street, the bride in her gown, and a married couple fighting in the car over the directions.  It dawned on me that if the kids were seeing their future, I was seeing my entire past.

The fight died down about as quick as it had started, as soon as I took the next turn and proceeded to the church parking lot.  We both started laughing at the irony of it.  We went to the wedding, had some drinks, had a great time and headed home.  There is more of my future and I'm eager to see it with my wife.


  1. Which *5* people are you feeding? Is there something Hossmom wants to tell us?

  2. I love how much you love your wife...enjoy the ins and outs of raising children...and can see the humor in even the worst of days. Thank you for making me laugh. :)

  3. Susannah - the dogs together count as the 5th person.