Kitchen Redo

Never watch a home renovation show with a child that likes to destroy stuff. Sage advice.

"Dad! They are tearing up that wall!" Little Hoss says as we watch a kitchen renovation show. I'm actually surprised she noticed as it has nothing to do with Princess's or candy. But then again, she's my daughter, raised by me, taught by me, mentored by me. Things that go boom seem to go over well in this house.

Hossmom and I are watching the DIY network. It's our weekend crap that we watch from time to time. Something that's on in the background other than a cartoon or one of the wonderful Oscar type classics that Hossmom makes me watch from time to time. Like Cutting Edge or Center Stage. Yup, top notch films. Shunned by the academy, I"m sure.

Hossmom and I like to both watch these renovation shows on the weekend together. I like to learn new techniques that perhaps I don't know yet and Hossmom likes to pretend that we'll ever have a "spare" 15K to actually do a remodel of the kitchen. She's so sweet in her delusions.

"Dad! Look! They are punching that wall!" She's getting excited now. It's kind of catching.

"Yes they are honey."

"Dad! Look!" She says again. She is now at the age when she knows that I am answering her without looking at her. She physically grabs my face and lifts it out of my book. I am now looking at someone using a sledgehammer to take down a wall. My daughter is watching this. Probably not a good idea. But she's already running with it.

"Dad! I know something!" She says, more excited than ever.

"Maybe we can hit a wall! And then, and then, and then (she repeats herself when she gets excited) we can build a new wall!" She says.

Hell yeah, I like where this is going. Her excitement is catching.

"And then, and then, and then, maybe you can build us a new great big wall!" She's practically jumping up and down by this time and her arms are spread out wide to show how big of a wall we have to build. "A big new pink wall!"

Shit yeah, I love pink. Pink is an awesome color.

"And Bubba Hoss can help! He can hit the wall!"

Damn right, he can hit the wall too!

"And we can go like this---Smash, smash, smash!" Now she is jumping up and down. I'm close myself.

Keep preaching darling!

"Can we build a window in the new wall daddy!" She's yelling now.

"Damn straight we can!"

"Can mom help!" She says, still yelling.

"Hell no!"

"Ok!" She says.

"Ok!" I say

"And then, and then, and then we can cover it all in................................GLITTER!"

"HELLS YES!" Now I'm standing up to doing a fist pump.

"Let's go get the hammer dad!"


And Hossmom is on her feet, blocking the door to the garage. Thus ends our kitchen renovation and the watching of any show on DIY while the kids are up.

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