Chicken Fried Steak and Taxes

It's a funny thing. When I lived in Texas I didn't eat many chicken fried steaks. I suppose I took them for granted the same way that you take for granted that a stripper will talk to you if you have a dollar bill in your teeth. It's one of those things that just always seems to be. I could have had chicken fried steak any numerous times but I passed it up for some sweet, sweet Mexican food. Mmmm, heartburn.

But since I have left Texas, I am kind of missing good Southern cooking. That down home stuff that you could always get. Now everything is fancy. Most places here require you to keep your belt on and top button buttoned.

So Hossmom said we needed something special tonight. Some comfort food because we have a big job to do tonight like every other patriotic American. Taxes. I hate doing taxes but I do love chicken fried steak.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't mind paying my taxes. That's fine. I just hate doing them. Because even though my wife and I both have college degree's, have held management positions, and I have actually made some life and death decisions: We have no idea what the hell we are doing when it comes to taxes.

The smart money would be to just find a CPA and let him do it. We did that for many years before we had kids and I became a SAHD. We paid 300 bucks to have someone else do them. But we can't do that anymore because any single income parent knows that you take every opportunity to save money. Besides, our CPA fucked up the last year he did them and we had to pay 1000 bucks in late fees. But don't worry, he did give us the filing fee back for screwing up our taxes. Jerkoff.

Now we do them ourselves to save money. It can kind of be a rough night, which is why we need the comfort food. The deeper we get into doing the taxes the more of a glare I get from Hossmom. Income: all her. Savings: all her. IRA: yup, it's hers. The glare says "You sir, are a drag on the economy."

She doesn't really glare at me but it's the way I feel. I offer nothing. Wait, that's not right. This year I did offer something! I did jury duty for 5 days and got paid 30 bucks for 40 hours worth of work. I was happy at the time. Now I find out that we actually get TAXED on that. So now that just makes me feel a little worse.

But every bit of money counts, right? We all make sacrifices to save money, to keep the families goals. I do my part. I am now officially down to two pair of jeans. One I had to cut 3 inches off of the hem because I ripped them and they make me look like some sort of begger. The other pair has a rip on the thigh that is slowing crawling up to the crotch. I find my self very alluring with my suggestive clothing.

But that's it. The other jeans haven't made it through winter as they were all 4 years old. But I haven't bought any new pairs this year because I was trying to save money.

Now I'm getting taxed on 30 bucks and a ticket for indecent exposure.

We filled out the form. Under the part of my occupation I asked Hossmom to put "Homemaker that makes a fucking great chicken fried steak". She tried but the box was to small. Figures.

But I do make a kick ass chicken friend steak. I will sell it to you for 30 bucks.

Under the table of course.

1 comment:

  1. We cave and go to a CPA. Bright side: she only charges 150. We figure we make that back and then some by not doing the taxes ourselves.