Eat your vegetables.

Stand up straight.

When you shake hands, use a firm grip. Do not go limp wristed. Show power and authority in your handshake.

These are just a few of the things that a father is supposed to teach his children. There are many more that are unique to only what a father can teach. His experience, his knowledge passing on to his minions.

When going for it on 4th down, use a hard count.

A high fastball inside is called "chin music" and is sometimes necessary when the batter is crowding the plate.

Hockey is a northern sport, we don't much care about that. It's to cold to play.

A man must take his responsibility seriously. He must accept the burden with broad and strong shoulders. He must continue to insure that his children have the tools to not only cope with life's obstacles, but to crush them into oblivion.

He tells them to keep your hands at 10 and 2. Don't jam on the gas and pop the clutch.

Look a man in the eye every time and he'll respect you.

For God's sake, never ever shave sideways.

A father must take every opportunity presented to him to teach his children. Do not let these golden moments fly by. Seize them and use them to build great individuals that will one day do great things.

Around the tree and through the hole, that's how it's done.

Be kind to animals, be kind to people, one day you'll need both.

Drink your milk and tell Mamma you love her.

It doesn't matter how the lessons get communicated as long as they are taught. He may say classics such as "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" Or he may go back to the old father reliables:

This will build character or This will put hair on your chest--each is easily substituted for the other.

Back when I was a kid...........--another good one that shows how awesome you are and how tough you were. They will want to emulate your example, even if you never did walk 3 miles in the snow. It doesn't matter, because they think you did.

I'll turn this car around right now!--no you won't but they don't know that.

And one day, if you're lucky, you'll get to see them utilize the very lessons you've taught them.

Today Little Hoss got undressed for her bath time. Before she jumped in she ran over to my leg and bent over. She scooted back putting her naked ass on my leg.

Then she farted.

She laughed and ran away.

My work here is done.

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