Ms. 2000

Everyone take a look to your right. Everyone see the numbers. Everyone notice that the number is now above 2000! Yes my friends, we have reached another milestone on the road to Hossman Greatness. I have 2000 hits on my blog and thus my ego is soaring and I am sure I could teach a monkey how to act like a proper lady for the dollar bet.

So who is this mystery person that was number 2000? Who do we owe all our gratitude to? Who shall receive our honors and our constant love? I know because I am a sneaky bastard which I think I have well proven over the course of my blogs. I have a secret government tracking device that lets me know exactly who and when looked at my blog.

It lets me know what time of day, which stories they read and how long they were on the blog. Now most of you that keep coming back for some Hossman Love usually just read the last story. I’m ok with that as most of you have read the others as they were posted. But, and not to judge here, you might want to start leaving some comments so that I know that someone thinks I’m funny besides my daughter. She thinks it’s funny to poop in the tub, a little low brow if you ask me.

This is supposed to be a blog people, which means open discussion and an exchange of ideas. It’s supposed to be a digital church that worships Hossman and Hossman Principles. I will never achieve non-profit status unless I can show a following and a multitude.

That is not to say that I don’t love my readers as over the last two weeks I continue to set records over and over for daily readership. Kos can kiss my ass.

And for you new people that visit the site. Seriously, read more than just the top story. Maybe I’m just having a very bad, unfunny day? There’s some treasures in there, little nuggets of comedy that will make your day brighter. Get to know my blogs and thus get to know me, its win win for all.

But back to our point, giving praise and worship to Ms. 2000. Yes, in my mind the person who was the 2000th visitor to my site is a woman. I do this because it makes me feel less gay. Not that I have a problem with anyone being gay. I just have a problem sharing my feelings and opening up without embarrassment and a non-disclosure agreement. So to all my gay readers, I love you to, please just don’t bring that into the open.

Ms. 2000, and the person who deserves all the credit for making me feel good today is……………………………………………………………….

Ft. Worth, Texas.

Please, let us all applaud all that is great about Ft. Worth Tx.. Ms. 2000, please stand up and take a bow. Bask in the sunshine that is you as you, and only you, have attained a very special place in this blog. We love you. We adore you. If you are a dude, please don’t tell me that. Let me have my fantasy that you are really from Sweden and in the states currently on a Student Visa.

I don’t know what to say. I am speechless. But I am creative and I’m feeling it now. In tribute, the entire blog, it’s readership and it’s many fans, will now serenade you, Ms. 2000. The way we can feel can best be described in a song by Kelley Clarkson.

Lights please. Ms. Clarkson, could I have a back beat?…………………………….

You’ve got your mother and your brother every other undercover telling you what to say.

Chorus Chicks sing (that’s you, dear readers): “Say” Sing along!

You think that I’m stupid but the truth is that it’s cupid baby loving you has made me this way.

Chorous Chicks sing “Way”

So before you point your finger, get your hand off my trigger, oh yeah, you need to know that this situation is getting old and the more you talk the less I can say.

(My hips start shaking at this part, can you feel it!)

I’m looking for attention, not another question, should you stay or should you go. Well if you don’t have the answer why still standing here, hey hey, heyyyyyyyJust walk away.

Chorus Chicks sing: Just walk away

(Get your lighters out!)

I’ve waited here for you like a kid waiting afterschool so tell me why you never showed.

Chorous Chicks: Showed

I gave you everything and never asked for anything and look at me I’m all alone.

Chorus Chicks: Alone

(Are you feeling it Ms. 2000?!)

So Before you start defending, baby, stop all your pretending. I KNOW YOU KNOW I KNOW SO WHAT IS THE POINT IN BEING SLOW! Let’s get this show on the road today.

I’m looking for attention, not another question, should you stay or should you go. Well if you don’t have the answer why still standing here, hey hey, heyyyyyyy Just walk away

Chorus Chicks Just walk away

(The lights dim, fog rolls around our feet, the atmosphere is electric, my sexiness is high)

I want a love I want a fire to to fill the burn my desires, I want a reader by my side not a boy who runs and hides. Are you going to fight for me, die for me, LIVE AND BREATH FOR ME, DO YOU CARE FOR ME BECAUSE IF YOU DON’T JUST LEAVE!!!!!

(I collapse on stage, but then, I’m on my feet again, O Ms. 2000, this is for you!)

I’m looking for attention, not another question, should you stay or should you go. Well if you don’t have the answer why still standing here, hey hey, heyyyyyyy Just walk away

Chorus Chicks Just walk away
Just leave! Walk away


  1. In your efforts to label Ms. 2000 a woman because it makes you feel less gay, you sure did bring out your inner rainbow with the Kelly Clarkson song!!! lol

  2. I am a very complicated person and I like the song.

  3. I am on my feet!!! Lighters are out!!! My arms are stretched out with the international rocker's symbol on my hands!!! And I am also very, very glad that I pay what I do to visit this blog.

  4. Oi, achei teu blog pelo google tá bem interessante gostei desse post. Quando der dá uma passada pelo meu blog, é sobre camisetas personalizadas, mostra passo a passo como criar uma camiseta personalizada bem maneira. Até mais.

  5. Oh Hossman - my mother and my aunt (AKA - your mother-in-law) told me about your site after their visit a few weeks ago in Spokane... I must say - I am amused!!!!! I have to get my dear husband to read up on all of the fatherhood and pregnancy stuff (although we are DONE with the pregnancy part)!!! Anyhow - you make me laugh and I really do enjoy the humor! :)

  6. 1st, Rodrigo, thank you for the kind words of encouragement. I have no idea what you said. Could someone translate so that I may bask in glory. 2nd, everyone seems to have thier favorite type of blog, either xbox, dad stuff, pregnancy or me on a rant. I write when it comes to me and seriously have no control of what it will be. I'm glad you like it and hopefully this week will give you some chuckles. If not, we will blame Rodrigo.

  7. What Rodrigo said (at least according to BabelFish): Oi, I found yours blog for google tá well interesting I liked this post. When to give gives passed for mine blog, is on personalized t-shirts, shows step by step as to create a well personalized t-shirt way. Until more.