Date Night

This is going to be sweet, I have no idea why I didn't think of this before.  Genius I tell you, genius!!  Sometimes I deserve some sort of marriage/father medal.  Do they make those?  They should make those and if there was one I would get it because this idea is awesome.

Preparation is easy enough.  And cheap, with Christmas around the corner every dollar counts or we will be slightly underfed come Christmas morning.  When I am putting together the 12th toy or cutting something out of a box I demand a hearty breakfast.  Santa needs more than cookies, sausage and eggs and English muffins, that's what's required on Christmas morning.

Like every parent, my wife and I do not get enough alone time together.  And I'm not talking about good old sexy time, little hanky panky followed by blissful sleep.  I'm talking about just alone time where two adults can sit around and just talk about what's going on.  How was your day, what was destroyed, can you fix it?  You know, normal parent talk.  However, whenever we try to have these talks there is always interruptions.  A bumped knee, someone isn't sharing, please look at my drawing.  I love looking at drawings and I love mending bumped knees but I also like to check in on the mental status of my wife to make sure she isn't thinking about trading up to someone with hair.   She probably wouldn't given that I'm pretty awesome and I can cook but it's never good to take chances with this kind of thing.

So first off, go get a movie for the kids.  Something long with a lot of previews.  Something that isn't too scary but isn't boring.  And while I'm doing that, get a video game too.  Rent if need be, buy if you have to.  Something that they can both play together at the same time.  Grab 1000 lbs of popcorn, teach kids how to use the microwave and juice boxes measured in gallons.  That's the first part of this awesome plan.  Look, I would like to spend some time with my wife without shelling out the penalty 50 dollar fee that is known as the babysitter.

Once that was done, fix a nice big meal.  Something that they will like and eat up.  Get some full bellies and some happy smiles.  Feed them corn dogs and chicken nuggets to make them happy.  So far so good.

Now the hard part, the part that if it goes wrong the whole night will go wrong.  Calmly explain to the children that their mother and I are going to go put the toddler to sleep.  And that once he's asleep that we are not to be bothered for any reason.  I used to tell them "unless there is blood" but have had to modify that to "unless someone is missing a limb".  It's amazing how a red mark on a toe can equal blood.

Put the movie in, give them popcorn, video games, and some juice and then go upstairs.  The toddler didn't want to go to sleep but after a short while and a promise of ice cream ponies in the morning.  He finally did.

And that's it, that is how you do date night in your own home.  It was awesome, how didn't I think of this before?  The kids stayed up until around 11 and then went to bed.  My wife and I played the part of the moody teenager and just shut the door to our room.  We read, we talked, we laughed and that was it.  We went to sleep drunk on the quiet alone time that we were able to carve out for a couple of hours.  Look, of course, I would want to go out with my wife.  Maybe see a movie or hit a bar.  But life can make that tough and sometimes you gotta find the solutions in a tough spot.  The kids loved their "special" night and I got to insure that my wife isn't going to find Raul, the young in shape love stud to take my place.

I am totally doing this again.

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