Shhh, don't mess this up for us. Not a sound, not one freaking sound from anyone. I think the kids have forgotten that we are home.
Hossmom and I are laying in bed. She is reading a book and there is no one trying to rip it from her hands. I'm just sitting here typing away and no little fingers are pushing random buttons or randomly deleting important financial files. I once bought stock in a Hong Kong fishing lure company thanks to the magic of 3 year old kid fingers. The returns were not great.
There is no one here in bed with us. There is no one getting up asking for a glass of water or to check for monsters. There is no homework that has been forgotten at the last moment and no one is trying to throw the dog through the window in some weird Island of Dr. Moreau experiment. It's just quiet. All three of them are quiet. And it's a bit weird and a bit awesome.
The 3 year old is with the other two. I think they are playing a game but are trying to be quiet. We told them it was time for bed and I think they believe that they are "getting away" with it. I would let them get away with it all the time if they were this quiet. Christ man, I would do this every night. I would love this to become the new normal in the house.
You know what, this is like a vacation. and I don't mean the type where I take the kids with me, constantly apologizing to people on an airplane or leaving very good tips to waiters based on the amount of food that my toddler has flung on the floor. Then of course I have to make an agreement with a hotel manager where I just give him a credit card and we both agree to never speak of the unfortunateness again. It's like traveling with a rock band but without the massive amounts of cocaine and instead of STD's one of the kids usually has pink eye which is like an STD just no where near as fun acquiring.
Those are trips, this is like a vacation.
Do I have to be anywhere right now? Nope. Can I just sit on my butt and enjoy whatever it is that I'm doing? Yup. Is there a 4 foot tall 8 year old trying to crash my junk while a 10 year old reads me passages from Tween Drama 4? Nope. This is vacation.
Now of course, I know the old parental adage of if it's too quiet then something is going really, really wrong. Hell, I live by that. But tonight I have made a choice. I'm going to pretend that my three spawn are not plotting the downfall of western civilization through a cleverly designed coop focused on the control of pokeballs on the black market. Instead, I'm going to touch my wife's butt and see where that takes me.
So let them whisper away, giggle that dad doesn't know that they are up. Let them believe that they are super sneaky and by god why don't they have a higher allowance. Go for it, conspire all you want as long as it's done in quiet whispers and without the assistance of foreign governments.
I'll happily be here pretending that I don't hear you while I quietly walk across room and lock my door.