I Love You

I find myself a bit exasperated at the moment. I don't want to be and I feel a bit guilty about it. I normally don't carry around much guilt because in general, I'm an awesome guy. People love me. And so do dogs. Dogs love

HUG

me very much. I have no idea why other than they take one look or smell and see that I am a brethren that gets in the dirt with them. This is a nice way to stay that most times I probably stink from cleaning up dog shit. Maybe this is why they love me so

HUG

much. I know my wife loves me because I clean up the house a lot. Usually when she gets home, dinner is on a table, the kitchen is clean, the living room is clean and the kids are still alive. Nothing is a bigger

I LOVE YOU

turn on for Hossmom than a freshly cleaned house that she didn't have to do anything with. Our next child will probably be called Windex. So we have established that I am a lovable

HUG

guy and this herein lies the rub. It seems that whenever I am trying to do something that requires my full attention or multitasking, my children feel that

I LOVE YOU

this is the perfect time to come screaming to me and ask for a hug or to tell me that they love me. They make it sound dire. Daddy, Daddy, Daddy! they scream. I quickly scan for intruders or zombies because this is the tone of voice

HUG

that they use. When I don't see the undead, I ask them what is wrong. This is when they reply "I love you." Now this sounds great, doesn't it? Their need to tell me that they love me so very much is so urgent that they must risk scalding me while I'm cooking dinner just so they can tell me that

HUG

and give me a hug. But the problem becomes when I am actually involved with something, like cooking dinner, that requires all of my hands and attention. I get fancy sometimes but even mac and cheese requires

I LOVE YOU

my attention. Boiling water around children is usually something that you want to

HUG

stay on top of. And when a child comes running into give a hug, how can you deny them or even get upset? This isn't the type of atmosphere that I want to ruin. I want to encourage this. However

HUG

, I just wish that it would be at more opportune times, like when we are sitting down and I'm not wielding a knife at high speeds. It's more than just when I'm cooking dinner. Say I'm on the phone with our wonderful Internet provider. Now in order not to be transferred to the 10th circle of hell, they are the gatekeepers, I must listen intently and respond with almostGermenesque enthusiasm. "Are you having

I LOVE YOU

problems with your interwebs sir?" "Sir Yes Sir!" I scream. Failing to do so will get me kicked off of my interweb and yet still owing a monthly payment. So I have to be on my toes. It is even more difficult when I'm

HUG

talking to Hossmom after she gets home. I like spending time

I LOVE YOU

with my wife. I like hearing

HUG

about her day. She in turn likes to hear about the demons that I slayed over the phone by talking to our interweb provider.

I LOVE YOU

But it's hard to get a good flow going with the constant interruption that you really can't say no to. It often happens that

HUG

when we are talking, the I love you or HUG will come and thus we cannot remember what we were talking about. I feel bad for saying this, but it's a dad bit frustrating to be loved so much

I LOVE YOU

sometimes. For example, let's say I'm writing a nice little

HUG

story about something that happened in my day when all of a sudden

I LOVE YOU

I am interrupted from my train of thought. It makes it very difficult to finish the

HUG

Fuck it.