What I Hear

They are both sitting in bed, little smiles on their faces. So innocent, nothing but good behavior. No dad, their little charming faces seem to be saying, we weren't doing anything. In fact, we were just about to go to bed. My son even puts his head on the pillow like with a sigh like the only reason that he is still awake is because I'm up here bothering him.

My children think I am an idiot.

My kids are not the quietest kids and they are not subtle. When they are in the house you know it's either them or there are a stampeding heard of water buffalo going through the living room. Sometimes I do wish that it was the water buffalo because it would be easier to clean up after.

For the past 45 minutes we have heard the jarring crashes from upstairs. My son came out of his room about 10 minutes after we put him down for the night. He doesn't seem to realize that sound travels so when he tells his sister, ever so sneaky, "Let's Play!", I hear that. I hear his sister's response too; "Hell yeah!" Not in those exact words but the sentiment is the same.

I heard when they decided to taking leaps of fearless jumps off the bed. I heard when Barbie was having domestic issues with my son's dragon rider. I heard the house's floors grown when the toys were trampled under little tiny secretive feet. I heard the argument of who gets to tell the story now.

I heard it all like it was happening just in the next room, because you know, it was happening in the next room, right above my head. I believe that for a career path, I will steer my children away from "indiscreet undercover operative" and more toward a job that would play to their strengths, such as demolition derby contestant.

I should have busted them sooner but truth be told, I was enjoying what I was hearing. Sometimes you learn the most when they don't know you are listening. I got to hear the stories they were thinking up, I got to hear how they resolved their disputes without me around. I am very proud that this time no one got punched. It was fun, just sitting here listening to them and talking to Hossmom about it.

But eventually, bedtime does have to come, it does have to happen. However, since everyone is in a good mood, I decided that I wasn't going to come down on them to hard. I would let them hear me and that should put an end to this. We have school tomorrow and a sleepy kid is a cranky kid.

I walked up stairs, taking care to put a little extra oomph behind each step. As you can imagine, I'm not the most stealthy guy anyway as I'm sure Hossmom would be happy to tell you. I also slowed my steps down to give them time to set the scene for me. I still want to be entertained. I did everything but scream out "Fe Fi Fo Fum!"

I hear their little feet scamper by the time I'm on the third step. I hear blankets being ruffled by the 5th step. I hear toys being thrown off the bed by the last step. When I make it to the top, I hear nothing. I turn the corner to see them sweetly laying in bed together, small smiles on their faces. Not making a sound.