What Time is Dinner

"Dad, what's that thing?" my toddler asks.

What thing?

"That thing."

I'm driving.  I can't see what you are pointing at.

"That thing.  Over there."

It's a thing.

"What time is dinner?"

After soccer practice.

"Dad."

Yes?

"What's that thing?"

____________

"What time is soccer practice?" My nine-year-old asked.

In an hour.

"What time is dinner?"

After soccer practice.

"What time is soccer practice?"


________

"Can we be called the Red Dragons?"  One the kids on the soccer team asked.

Sure

"What about the Orange Macaroni?"

We are already the Dragons.

"What time is soccer practice?"

We are at soccer practice.

"What time is dinner?"

Ask your parent.

_____________

"What time is dinner?" My daughter asked.

I'm cooking it right now.

"What time is Bubba Hoss's soccer practice?"

We just got home from soccer practice.

"What are you cooking?"

You can see me cooking.  Just look.

"Is it almost done?  What time is dinner?

_________________

"Dad," one of my kids asked.

Yeah?

"I'm hungry."

We just had dinner.

"What did we have for dinner?"

Seriously?

"Mom texted, says to not forget the chairs."

I know.  I'm packing the car as fast as I can.  We can leave for the drive-in when your mother and grandmother get here.  About 5 minutes.

"Will there be time to have dinner before we go?"

__________

"Dad!" one of my other kids asked.

What!

"Don't forget the chairs!"

I know!  Don't ask about dinner or we are not going.

_____________

"Hoss," My mother-in-law asked.

Yes?

"Did you pack the chairs?  Don't forget to pack the chairs."

I know.

"Have you guys eaten dinner yet?"

Yes.  We are good to go as soon as Hossmom gets home.

______________

"Daddy!" my toddler asks.

Yeah?

"Don't forget to bring my chair!"

I got it!

"I'm hungry."

Jesus Christ.

_______________

"Honey?' My wife asked.

Right here.  The car is packed and ready to go. How was work?  Wish you didn't have to work late today.  It's been a long one.

"Had to finish up some stuff.  Did you pack the chairs?"

YES!  I PACKED THE DAMN CHAIRS!

"Are you ok?  Why are you getting so angry?  Calm down."

I am calm.

"Ok.  I'll grab the kids and my mother from the house.  Maybe we can stop on the way to grab a quick dinner."

--And that's the moment I lost it.