The Crime Scene

I should have known when she walked those long legs into my world that she would end up getting in trouble.  A figure like she's got won't buy you good will with everyone, sometimes it buys you nothing but headache and that headache is staring at me right in the eye.  I'm not sure what she did wrong and I'm not sure why she ended up hog tied like she is.  But I know that somehow this problem landed on my desk, wither I wanted it to or not.

I have my suspicions of course who did this to Barbie.  I always have my suspicions in this house.  This house has history and this history has a name.  Little Hoss, always near by but never quit near by enough to make it stick.  Whatever Barbie did though, she's paying for it now.

What should have been a good ice cream eating Saturday somehow took a turn for the worse for Barbie.  Now she has ended up tied upside down on the broomstick.  She obviously took a left turn on the way to the ice cream social.

The crime itself was done in a patient way, almost like they were just playing with her and let their imagination take over.  The hands are the most telling point.  It's not some sort of haphazard knot back there.  Those hands are tied with precision.  Loped around carefully, tight enough to make sure she couldn't get free but just lose enough to make her think she could.  This one was working on many levels, this is some deep shit here.

I don't know why she is upside down either.  The simple answer is that the broom was upside down on the floor when the perpetrator tied Barbie like a King Kong trophy.  But life ain't simple.  It's dirty and nasty and complicated.  It takes left turns when the only way to go is to the right.  Straight lines may get you there faster but life enjoys the scenic route and sometimes that scenic route ends up being tied upside down on a broomstick.

I sent in Mr. Bones this afternoon after there was to much quiet.  He's a cagey character.  Just enough of the underworld in him to get him through the door but he knows where his bread is buttered.  If he ever wants to become the full fledged Halloween decoration that he aspires to be, he would come back with some answers.

He didn't come back though.  He didn't even call.  I only got silence and in this house silence ain't golden, it's deadly for toys.  So I went to look for him and it didn't take long.  I found him strung up on the door knob like he didn't have a care in the world, just Mr. Bones the skeleton hanging around.  Well, he should have had a care because he was missing both his legs.  Snapped clean off.  He took the same wrong turn that Barbie did and know he ain't talking at all.

I showed Hossmom the photos of the crime scenes.  She's my partner.  A cute little number that has my babies.  A bit rough on the edges and a bit soft on the inside, but she gets the job done most times.  She keeps me on the straight and narrow when I can hear the bottle calling my name and  the bottle calls a lot after I've been home alone with the kids on a rainy day.

"You need to have a talk with your daughter." she says.  "That's concerning" she says.

Oh, I'll have a talk alright.  I'll sweat her until the good cop goes home and does the dishes.  But she won't talk.  No, she won't talk.  But her little brother might if I give him some candy.  Lucky for me, I always have some candy in my pocket.