I'm not talking about my youngest son. Bacon Hoss is 2 and 1/2 and pretty much lives in time out. He is there so much he has a nice little yard, pretty cool neighbors and little a desk area where he can write me death threats on his toddler stationary. He's pretty much a major butthole most of the time.
No, my older son, Bubba Hoss. He got into trouble.
Normally when I have meetings with teachers he is described as "angelic" and "greatest gift from your good loins my dear sir, the world is honored." I bask in the glory of having the "good son" and as soon as the conference is over I immediately go to the internet to judge people who don't parent as well as me. Turns out I'm a major butthole as well.
This time however, when I asked my usual question of How's the boy doing, I did not get the answer that I expected. I was told that he "could be doing better." I had to cancel my post meeting internet judging.
Bubba Hoss has always been a good kid, eager to please. His biggest fear in life is disappointing me. On a side note, that's a heavy burden on both of us. I get it, I'm dad and he looks up to me. It breaks his heart when he thinks he has done something that would displease me, unlike my wife who makes it a habit (easy joke, couldn't help myself.) But as it turns out, with all that admiration coming my way it has the affect of me being afraid of disappointing him. Father/Son relationships aren't supposed to be the complicated until he is at least 16 and he wants to join the band on a road tour.
But it turns out that my son has gotten a bit talky in class, enough so that the teacher feels the need to bring it up during the conference. He apparently has his best friend in his class and they like to do things like talk, get out of their seats and interrupt each other and the teacher while the other is talking.
Honestly, I'm a bit shocked. I shouldn't be, not really. The boy has literately never been a problem. He was so easy as a toddler that he only through a fit when he was ubber tired. And he never wanted someone else to cut his hair. I have no idea why but from ages 3 through 5, he had a buzz cut courtesy of me.
He was so good that I just assumed that all boy toddlers where that good so when Bacon Hoss came along, I wasn't prepared for the shit storm that is my younger son. Yesterday Bacon Hoss through a full on screaming fit because he couldn't chew on an extension cord. Maybe the cat is raising him, that would make more sense because our cat is pretty much an asshole too.
So now comes the fatherly part that on the surface seems simple, but underneath is one of the hardest parts of fatherhood. What should I do? Simple question, hard decision. If I come down on him like a mountain, do I kill any confidence and break his fragile spirit. To easy, and he doesn't learn any respect for authority and good behavior. Is this infraction big enough for me to take issue with it at home? Or do I just have a quick discussion with him now in the classroom.
See, when doing things like this, it looks like a quick decision from the outside. But in my head, I'm debating with myself the best course of action and honestly, I'm never sure if I make the right decision in the end. In fact, I know I screw up a lot. I'm just trying not to screw up enough to make him need therepy at 30 because he can't have a relationship with his father and has become an axe murderer. If I'm to hard, will he never take risks? That's not good. That sucks. If I'm to easy, will he decide that life is better lived by smoking crack and fighting rats at the local carney.
It's a very difficult balance and one that I find very hard to maintain.
"Stop talking during class boy."
That was my decision. I think I made the right one. Short and to the point, I like it. Time to go on the internet parenting sites.